The Alpha's Exchanged Mate
The Alpha’s Exchanged Mate – Chapter 120

Edwina’s POV…..

My heart was in my mouth as my hands touched the doorknob. I prayed briefly to the goddess that my a*s doesn’t get roasted for infidelity. Opening the door, I almost fell to the ground in gratitude when Becca was the one at the door.

She looked worried, “you okay, Luna? You look like you have seen a ghost or something. Is everything fine?”

Letting out a relieving breath, I strolled weakly to the bed. The robe I adorned hurriedly had been worn wrongly.

Becca still had an unconvinced look on her face. She thought something was actually wrong.

“Stop worrying, Becca. I’m fine. Is there something you need to tell me?” I asked her.

Nodding her head, “yes, please. The alpha has been trying to reach you on your line. But you weren’t picking up; he got worried and called me. I had to explain to him how your day had been. So, we guessed you might be asleep. I just thought to come to check on you real quick.”

“That’s so thoughtful of you, Becca. Thank you. Did he tell you why he called?”

“He said not to wait up for him. He would be working late and might not return until tomorrow. Also, he has to run an errand out of town.”

“Thank goodness,” I muttered under my breath.

I could feel Becca’s eyes on me, giving me a skeptical look. “I would take my leave now.” She announced, turning towards the door.

“Becca,” I called out, guilt riding all of me to pieces.

“Yes, dear Luna.” She responded politely.

I observed Becca, trying to think it through again to see if I could trust her with my secrets. She had been the only one I could express myself to since I came to live in the packhouse. It’s been tough years for me, all the times I was growing up and my marriage to Ben. There was no one I could share my worries or pain with.

I carried them all around like a cross till they all faded out. But this parasite was biting deep inside of me, and I feared it might consume the whole of me if I didn’t speak out.

“What’s the matter?” She asked, sounding genuinely concerned.

I can’t help but be grateful for Becca’s presence in the packhouse. It would have been harder for me to find my footing if not for her continuous guide.

Inhaling deeply, I stared at her. “Can you keep a secret, Becca?”

Her head was turned to another angle, obviously trying to figure out if I was fine or not.

“Sure, you can trust me,” her voice was reassuring, and I knew I could count on her.

“Please sit,” I gestured towards the couch for her to face me.

“What’s bothering you?” She asked again, this time with a calmer demeanor.

“Don’t see me as a worthless person, please. I just really need to get this out and maybe get help.”

“I’m all ears.”

“Okay,” I sat upright, clearing my throat like I was about to make an announcement for the whole pack and beyond to hear. It’s not like this wasn’t an announcement on its own. I was about to shoot myself in the leg, hoping I don’t end up in a wheelchair.

Xander wouldn’t smile at my illustration. I wonder why he had to come to my head just when I was roasting myself.

Becca was obviously losing the patience to wait up for me. Her bed time was close.

“I need you to understand how hard it is for me. Before I got married to Ben, he was really sweet to me, and I fell deeply in love with him. He did flip me off my high horse eventually, but my heart still yearned for every part of him, and I just felt a comfortable feeling, like I was loved when the reverse was really the case. When he cheated, my world came crashing down on me. But at the same time, my heart still belongs to him. I feel guilt-ridden now that I’m married to Xander. I can’t help the thoughts of him that ravage my mind.”

I didn’t realize I was crying now.

“You still touch yourself at the thought of him?” She asked, realizing the sounds I was making in the bathroom earlier.

I nodded in shame like a child caught with an unauthorized candy. “Yes.”

Becca laughed out a little, “there is no fault of yours in that. It’s not like you could have helped the situation. You and the alpha never courted or were actual friends before you got married. So it’s understandable if your heart still yearns for your ex-husband. The only thing I want you to act on is to get your mind away from that manipulator. He wasn’t good for you the first time and won’t be good for you now. Thoughts of him would only ruin your relationship.”

Why would I always love Becca? She has a way of comforting and rebuking me without being judgemental.

Some calm washed over me at her reassurance.

“Thank you so much, Becca.” I mused

“Always welcome, Luna. Try as much as you can to give yourself a break. Cut yourself some slack and stop comparing yourself to your sister. You are you.”

I marveled at how easily she read through the clogged wheels in my head. Every day when thoughts of Ben crossed my mind, I woke up with a dreadful feeling that I didn’t want to end up being like my sister.

“I didn’t know I was that obvious.”

“Maybe if you don’t try too hard to fight it, it will wane off naturally.” Standing up, she bowed slightly. “Have a good night’s rest, Luna.”

I yawned, letting myself into the bed. Before she stepped out for good, I called her back. “Becca, thank you so much.”

She nodded with a smile. I sighed, leaning into the comfort of the bed, admitting it felt nice to have a friend to share your worries with.

I eased myself off the burden of my thoughts of Ben and Becca, letting me know it’s a natural thing to happen. It made me feel more at ease and with a more determined mind. I intended to dump every thought concerning my ex-husband by being preoccupied with other things like becoming an aunt.