Let Me Love You Again
Chapter 31

Maya

I opened my eyes slowly, letting the sun seeping through the curtains gently hit me on the face. I stretched out feeling a burst of energy pervading my body.

I pulled myself up and looked around. Nate wasn’t in the room, not like he had been in the last week.

For the last few days, all Nate had done was take care of me, wake me up whenever I had to take my meds, get to eat, and get my forehead wet with a piece of cloth wet in cold water.

The thought of what he’d done for me made my chest warm and my heart pounded for him. I couldn’t control the tornado of emotions going through me, and it made me more and more confused about him. About how I felt about him, my real feelings, and I was so f*****g afraid to admit to myself that Nate was a big part of me now.

Those weeks when he hadn’t been there had been a nightmare for me, and that week that he was by my side, had filled me in a way that had never happened to me before. I felt complete. Perfect in my imperfection, perfect only as with him I could be.

I got up and took off my pajamas, and threw them on the bathroom floor. I needed a shower urgently, I felt all the filth of my illness all over me, and I wanted to do it as soon as possible so that I could pick up my baby from my mother.

I missed him like crazy, my heart demanded him as my body wanted him, I wanted to have him back in my arms, cuddle him and love him.

I put on a jumpsuit and went into the other room, finding Nate lying awkwardly on the couch, completely asleep.

Tomorrow was Christmas Eve, and I didn’t even know what my plans were. Having been ill, my mother did not dare to arrange something real.

I walked into the kitchen, my stomach growling, and I opened the fridge, finding it strangely full. My heart was racing at the thought of Nate in a supermarket shopping for me.

I took the milk and closed the fridge and then took a bowl and some cereal. I set it up and I went into the salon and then I sat on the armrest, with my feet next to Nate’s while he slept blissfully.

I watched him while I eat.

His hair was shaggy, his face was flushed, and he was breathless. I bent my head to the side, looking at him more closely and then noticing how his body was shaking.

I placed the bowl on the coffee table and knelt next to him, feeling his forehead. As I suspected, it was hot.

He took the virus to be around me.

I thought. Even though it was disgusting, it was the most romantic thing anyone had ever done for me.

I caressed his cheek gently as he opened his eyes with a g***n of suffering.

“Hey,” I said when I met his blue eyes.

Nate grunted and turned around, lying on his back and coughing.

“You got my fever,” I said, feeling his forehead.

“Are you going to dress up as a sexy nurse and give me a blow job to make me feel better?” he asked in a hoarse voice.

I couldn’t stop the laughter that got away, “Can you not think about s*x?”

“I like to think about s*x, especially if it’s with you,” he replied, closing his eyes.

“Especially?”

“Only if it’s with you” he added.

“Mmh” I got up and looked around, the house was not as disastrous as I thought, Nate had taken care of keeping everything clean and tidy.

Nate shuddered and surrounded his body with his arms visibly trembling. I walked up to the chair and grabbed the blanket before I threw it on him and covered him up.

“Give me time to change the blankets in bed so you can sit there,” I said, stroking his forehead.

I got up and went back to my room, and in five minutes I fixed it and changed the covers and then I went back into the room and forced Nate to get up. I took him to my room and helped him undress, leaving him with just his sweatshirt on and then covering him completely. I took the medicine from the bedside table and handed it to him with a glass of water.

Nate took his meds and threw himself between the blankets complaining. I took the thermometer and measured his temperature, and then I covered him well.

“I’m going to take a shower and go out, get some more medicine and get Axel back, do you think you can be alone for a couple of hours?” I asked him to sit next to him.

“I’m not a child, I can stand on my own,” he said frowning, his expression was so pretty that I wanted to fill his face with k****s “It hurts like hell,” he added, complaining.

I laughed and got up taking off my sweatshirt and jumpsuit, and I noticed Nate looking at me with hungry eyes as I undressed and took on clean clothes.

“Having you as a nurse could awaken even a dead person” he commented with a hoarse voice.

“Stop being a clown, think about sleeping before the fever makes you say something you’d regret” I laughed and went to the bathroom.

********

When I entered in my mother’s house, the first thing that took me in was the smell of food that made my stomach growl, then I heard the happy squeaks of my child and immediately my heart cracked, missing the other part of myself.

I walked into the kitchen and found my mother cooking with a very cheerful and very dirty Axel, sitting in his car seat while he was smearing on his face what looked like chocolate cream.

As soon as he noticed me he took out a scream of joy that made my mother jump from the fright, while he began to clap his hands cheerfully.

I immediately rushed towards him and picked him up, letting him fill my face with chocolate as he tried to k**s me with his mouth open.

“You are healed,” said my merry mother.

“Thanks to your soup,” I said taking a piece of paper and cleaning my face and my son’s.

“I don’t think it was my soup,” my mother winked as she pulled out a tray of Christmas cookies, “Where’s the nurse? Don’t tell me you kicked him out of the house after you were cured,” he put his hands on his h**s and looked at me frowning as his light brown hair swayed behind him.

“Do you really think I’d be such a b***h?”

“Exactly, and proudly,” she added.

“Mom!” I complained as Axel put his hands in my hair.

“Where is your savior then?”

“At home, with the fever,” I said, cleaning my baby’s soft little hands.

My mother’s eyes softened and she smiled, “I’ll make a soup for him while he’s sick,” she said serenely as she took all the ingredients.

“I can make soup, Mom,” I complained as I approached the sink and started cleaning Axel up.

“Yes, yes,” she said, ignoring me as she began to cut vegetables, “I’m so happy for you, it’s about time you decided. Nate has always been perfect for you. I would never have seen anyone else for you,” she continued as she cooked.

“Mom…” I said with a sigh.

“No. No mom. Stop it, Maya, I thought I raised you differently,” she started to scold you, “Why would you say no to a man like Nate?” he put his hands on his h**s and looked at me grimly.

Suddenly I felt like I was a little girl even though I had my son in my arms, “I don’t know if you remember, but I have responsibilities now,” I said, my head pointing out that Axel had decided to focus on my hair.

“The fact that you’re a mother doesn’t stop you from being a woman,” replied my mother, throwing the vegetables in the pot and starting to mix everything “Don’t waste a chance like this, you guys are meant to be together, I can’t see anyone next to you like him, I’ve been hoping for years that you’d finally realize who was supposed to be next to you.” My mother wiped her hands on her apron and approached me gently stroking my cheek.

I sighed and closed my eyes, “I don’t even know if he wants something more than the physical,” I said, trying to be as gentle as possible, I was still talking about my mother, “I don’t even know if he has feelings for me,” I admitted.

I was terrified that Nate wouldn’t feel anything about me other than just physical attraction, that I would just let go and end up crashing into a wall, and that I didn’t know if I was ready for another disappointment.

“A man who is not in love would never spend a week taking care of a sick woman at the risk of taking a tremendous influence. The man is completely cooked,” he said quietly.

“I am not sure”

“Oh please stop it! Enjoy what this experience will bring you and if it doesn’t work out it’s okay, it means it wasn’t yours forever but you will always stay with good memories. Stop running away from anything beautiful that comes in front of you and throw yourself at it,” my mother said.

“I don’t promise anything but I’ll think about it,” I said as my mother rolled her eyes.

“I guess you won’t be here tomorrow,” she said, stirring again.

“And risk leaving him alone? He’s worse than a baby,” I said sitting down and resting Axel standing on my legs that he immediately started hopping supported by me.

“Then you will bring this soup home and give it to him as soon as he wakes up. Leave Axel in the stroller, your father bought him a lot of toys to play with,” my mother said.

“Was it necessary?” I asked desperately, getting up.