The Alpha's Exchanged Mate
The Alpha’s Exchanged Mate – Chapter 215

Edwina’s POV…

For what seemed like a lifetime, he didn’t say a word. I was getting bothered, and my standing didn’t feel good, considering my position. I would like to think that Xander reads my mind. Almost in a split second, he had dusted a chair that sprouted out from among the piles of antiques in the space and had me seated on it.

I gulped nervously, feeling bad for thinking ill of him. “Xander…”

He held a hand up, “please let me finish.” He pleaded.

“Okay.” I let out in a whisper.

Still standing, Xander had his back turned to me, obviously trying to hide the tears in his eyes. “over the years, as I grew, I leaned on Ben as he was the only person really close to me. I felt safe trusting him with all of me. Also, the idea of family grew within me so much. I couldn’t wait to have a Luna. When I did come of age, I pleaded hard with the moon goddess to show me my desired mate. When she showed you to me, I was too greedy and thought I was doing it for the sake of the pack. Eventually, fate caught up with me and took me through the most painful form of betrayal ever.” He said, sniffing, “I don’t know what I did to deserve a second chance of getting you back in my life. Maybe I never emphasized this, but you were and still are my mate Edwina. “

My mouth was wide agape when he muttered his last statement, he appeared really sincere with his words, and it sent thrills down my spine.

Xander caressed the journal as he held my gaze, “I had been so angry at my mum that I didn’t get to connect with her in any way. My father must have intentionally kept her stuff for me to find. Me finding out she was human-made me more curious about my other identity. This journal…” He raised it up. “…gives the entire details and truth that I have been searching and longing for all my life. She had loved me even before I was born and was protective till her last breath.”

I rolled my eyes. His story sounds intriguing and mind-blowing, but I am so not ready to listen anymore. I don’t know what he was driving at bringing his mother into our discussion. And as much as I wanted him back, there was no way I would make it easy for him.

“It’s obvious you are just trying to buy your way in, which isn’t really working,” I said, standing up as I intended to leave.

He held my hand back before I could make any move. “Please, Edwina! I’m just trying to explain to you that I can’t live without you. I am in love with you, I can no longer hide how I feel, and it’s killing me inside. I know I wrong you and how hurt you feel, but I am just as hurt as you. All I want is your love, baby. I just crave to be loved properly. I no longer want to doubt my feelings or yours anymore.” He swallowed, “let’s start afresh, baby. Let’s forget all about this mess. For the sake of our love, for the sake of our unborn child. Please, mama.”

I have never seen Xander so vulnerable, his eyes were filled with unshed tears, and they made my heart ache. Life sure is really funny. Who would have thought someone as influential as Xander had practically lived the same life I did. Anyone would think he had it all. Now, I understand why he was insistent on talking about his mother; she would have shielded him from so much, no doubt. Just as my mother would have done the same for Sonia and me if she was alive. But one thing I have learnt is; to try hard to not live our lives as victims.

“Say something, please.” Xander’s voice jolted me out of my thoughts. He had dropped the journal and was holding both of my hands now.

A tear trailed down my face, “I have been hurt too, Xander. I have been unloved and betrayed too. As much as it hurts you, it hurts me the same way too. We shouldn’t be the ones doing this to each other. Do you know how awful I felt finding out that you could walk? And then you claim to have used it as a test. How lower can you get, Xander? I wish you had come out to me sooner. But you didn’t, and that broke me; it made me feel like a fool once again. Because you know just how vulnerable I am, and you still chose to do something like that to me? How in the world do you think I’m supposed to cope with that?” I didn’t stop the tears from coming now. I have had just about enough of playing okay, even when I am clearly not.

“I know, baby, and I’m sorry. I miss you so much, Edwina. I didn’t realize how much you mean to me and how much I have become accustomed to your presence. Until this past weeks, and I must say it’s been the most tormenting moment of my life. I really can’t deal with this any longer. I want you back, baby. I want to be present in not just our child’s life but in yours too. I want us to build this pack together and make the best out of everything. You have been my support system since the day you walked into this packhouse, Edwina. I can’t do this alone, please, baby. I need you.” He said

I blinked my tears back, almost hurting my eyes. “What if I can’t birth your cubs with wolves. What if I give birth to pubs just like me….”

“Shh!” Xander cut me short, placing a finger on my lips. “Don’t say that. I don’t care. I’m completely fine with it as long as it’s my child and yours. I’m really less bothered about what others would say. All that matters is our happiness. And you really mean the world to me. Please, baby.” He confessed, placing our foreheads on each other he kissed my nose.

I held firmly onto his hand, sighing. I kissed him on the lips. “I love you, Xander.”

A sweet smile spread out on his lips. “I love you too, baby. Welcome back home.” He whispered, sealing it off with a k**s.”