Let Me Love You Again
Chapter 88

Maya

Jess came back after putting little Emma to bed, Axel was right behind her as he had followed her like a hawk. I couldn’t understand my child anymore.

Axel arrived and immediately went to Nate who picked him up and made him sit on his legs while he ate. Nate would occasionally feed him and give him some of his chicken while Axel would be happy and still in his father’s arms.

I began to eat happy under the eyes of Jess scrutineers who never lost sight of me, sometimes she was worse than Lucas. I ignored her completely and continued to eat while Andrew and Nate talked.

It wasn’t that I didn’t want to tell her about the pregnancy, it was that I just wanted to stay in my bubble for a little longer. I didn’t want to have people around, I wanted to be alone with my children and my husband before the chaos broke out about my pregnancy and we were wrapped in a spiral of parties, parties, parties.

“What?” I said to Jess while I was drinking some water.

“What are you hiding, May May?” she said softly.

I grabbed a piece of chicken and shoved it in my mouth and started chewing loudly and trying to ignore Jess’s look.

“I’ll find out, May May,” she said, beginning to eat.

“Worry more about the hours of sleep you will lose from here on out, than about me,” I said sour.

“Did you read the emails from the studio?” Jess suddenly told Nate.

“Which one?” Nate replied, feeding Axel.

“As for social workers, they seem to be looking for lawyers to provide services for juvenile cases,” Jess said.

“Yeah, not that I care, social workers are vultures,” Nate replied as he wiped Axel’s mouth.

“What does Dad think?”

“We’re aberrant with cases, we don’t have time for social workers,” Nate replied calmly.

I continued to eat quietly while I could feel my stomach spinning. Please don’t do this now, don’t do the tantrums. I told myself mentally trying to communicate with my little girl who wanted to rebel against the chicken.

I tried to control myself and stopped eating, starting to drink as much water as I could. Please, please.

“Mom,” Axel said next to me.

I turned my eyes and I saw Axel with his arms outstretched towards me and his eyes tired, I tried to catch him but Nate refused to leave him.

“Nate” warned him.

“He’s heavy,” he said softly.

I frowned and took Axel by force, putting him in my arms, “Axel with mom,” Axel said, looking straight into his father’s eyes, his gaze full of challenge.

I surrounded him with my arms and my baby put his chin on my arm, his head facing Nate as he finished eating and kept talking to Andrew and Jess. It wasn’t long before Axel collapsed. His body became heavy and his arms were soft, I stroked his head, moved his hair backwards while Nate searched the bag attached to my chair and pulled out the pacifier and stuffed it into his mouth.

Axel didn’t even react, he was blissfully asleep in my arms. I watched Jess hold the baby monitor to her ear to hear her children.

I understood it, even for me and Axel the first days had been difficult. I didn’t sleep, I never left him. I spent hours watching him sleep blissfully in his cradle, depriving myself of the little sleep I was allowed. I could never get away from him, I was terrified to leave him alone.

I wondered if it would be the same with my little girl. How would she be? Would she have my eyes or Nate’s? Would she have had his smile? His character?

I don’t think I could have taken anything like that. Axel already had the character of Nate and together they were unbearable, they were the same, they behaved the same way and sometimes I felt they were saying the same things, although what Axel was saying was incomprehensible most of the time.

I still couldn’t believe it. Soon we’ll have another baby. A little girl. A smile appeared on my lips but disappeared immediately when I noticed the inquisitorial look of Jess. I looked back at Axel sleeping blissfully in my arms.

*****

Nate had just come home from work while I closed the books and put them back. I had spent the day studying, taking advantage of the fact that Axel spent half the day in kindergarten and that classes hadn’t started yet.

Nate came by the bakery and got me a dessert because I called him to tell him I wanted something sweet.

Nate spoiled me. Sometimes too much. Everything I asked him did, no matter what time it was. I couldn’t even imagine what would happen in a few more months when the cravings would increase more.

My breasts, meanwhile, had grown bigger and I should have gone to buy some more bras because the ones I had didn’t fit me anymore, not that Nate was sorry, on the contrary. I remembered how much he loved my big breasts during breastfeeding and now he was completely crazy. There wasn’t a moment when he wouldn’t touch them, with his hands, with his mouth, with his c**k.

He was totally basking in my hormonal swings, my constant cravings, my constant bouts of rage that always ended with me on top of him.

After the initial shock, Nate had recovered great and not a day went by that he didn’t come up with new proposals for houses. For him, it was imperative that we find the house as soon as possible because he did not want the children to share a room, although I had told him that for the moment we could adapt. For him, it was very important that both Axel and the child had their own personal spaces as if they could go who knows where and who knows who to take.

Not for Axel, no playboy life, I knew exactly what Nate’s advice would be to him, and it wouldn’t happen under my watchful eye.

Coming back to Nate, he was totally into the baby thing. He was already looking for accessories for the bedroom, he had filled the cart of Ikea with things for our girl and for Axel even if we did not yet have a home. He was always hyperactive, as happy as I’d never seen him before. Like at that moment.

After he had put his things in the room and changed, he was wearing sweatpants and shirtless, risking a lake in the kitchen coming from me, he rushed to me and put a new folder on the table with HOUSES on it.

“Can you do it after dinner?” I said exasperated.

“After dinner, you will surely collapse, I want to do it now,” he said.

I snorted and approached the table as he sat down and I stood on his lap. He stuck his nose in my hair and put his hand on my belly and gently stroked me while Axel played on the ground with his cars.

Nate opened the folder and began to show me several houses, giving me his views on which were more compatible and which were not.

We talked for a while until the door stamp stopped us.

“Are you waiting for someone?” I asked him.

“Nop,” he replied, frowning.

I went to the door and opened it without asking for anything. I found two women in front of me accompanied by a police officer.

“Mrs Maya Dare?” asked one of the two women with one row less.

I nodded, feeling my whole body stiff.

“Social workers, we’re here to file a complaint about a minor, Axel Sheppar Dare, we need to pick up the child for investigation,” the woman said.

My world froze and my knees gave way as the woman’s words took shape in my head.

Brad.