Let Me Love You Again
Chapter 100

Maya

I got to Jess’s house, I held Axel’s hand because he didn’t even want to get into the stroller, but he didn’t move from next to me, he was like my shadow. Jess and Andrew’s penthouses were noisy when I arrived. You could hear the twins crying and Jess talking to herself.

I let go of Axel’s hand and he followed the crying of the newborns to the room where, sitting on the carpet, there was Jess with the children crying and kicking.

“Hey,” I said, trying to get over the screaming.

“May!” Jess yelled.

Axel approached in silence and sat down next to Emma, who looked at him with clear eyes. My little Axel stretched out a hand and Emma grabbed his finger with her little hand, beginning to laugh joyfully.

Jess looked at their interaction with the frowning forehead “Did she cry for ten minutes yarn and just the presence of a male to calm her down?”

“It’s your own flesh and b***d,” I said laughing and sitting on the couch a little awkwardly, “Tell me you already have lunch ready because I’m starving,” I said, caressing my belly.

“Absolutely not,” Jess replied, beginning to rub Liam’s tummy while Emma and Axel stood by and watched each other “I have two pests to look after, I didn’t have time to think about food. Can you believe they’re driving me crazy all day, and when it’s Andrew return, they’re two angels?”

“Oh, I do. Axel is like that too,” I said, laughing.

Jess also laughed and we stood for a while in silence watching the children. Liam had calmed down

And Jess had picked him up, and she started kissing him on the face. I heard my stomach growling and made an absurd noise that made Axel’s head go off and he looked at me with a frowning forehead.

“Mommy here is hungry,” Jess said in a strange voice as she continued to k**s Liam.

“I came not to look at you, but to eat”

“Yes, yes,” she said with a wave of her hand as she lay Liam on the carpet, “You look at the children while I make you lunch, Madame,” she continued, getting up.

I also got up and tried to sit on the ground, trying to do it as smoothly as possible but failing miserably

“I can’t imagine what will happen when I grow up to be the size of a whale,” I said as I sat down with a puff.

Axel followed every move I made carefully until I sat back and looked back at Emma who had blissfully fallen asleep with her little hand around Axel’s little finger.

Without bothering her too much, Axel moved and lay down next to her, brushing his blonde head with Emma’s and closing his eyes with a sigh.

I stretched out and took Liam, and lulled him gently as he, too, closed his eyes slowly.

“What do you want me to make for Axel?” Jess asked from the kitchen.

“Whatever we eat will be fine,” I replied as I looked up at Axel

My baby’s breath had become heavy and I had the distinct impression that he had fallen asleep placidly as he kept giving his little hand to Emma.

I moved slowly and silently, taking my cell phone and taking a picture of them. They were so beautiful and blessed sleeping like that. I sent it to Nate and he answered me with a heart without saying anything else.

After a while, Jess came back from the kitchen and sat on the sofa.

“I decided to make some pasta. I don’t want to make a delicious menu so to make you feel good,” Jess said.

“How kind you are,” I answered, lulling Liam.

“How are you?” Jess asked after a while.

“Well, why is that? Don’t tell me Nate said something to you because he’s been super agitated lately, and I’m thinking about giving him some calming herbal teas at night, too.”

Jess laughed, “He’s a little agitated, actually, but I’m really worried about you. I know how stressed you’ve been lately.”

I sighed and put Liam on the mat and then put my back on the sofa and caress my round tummy.

“I know, I know. But I assure you I’m fine. There’s nothing to worry about. I eat regularly and the baby’s vitals are all right. There is nothing to worry about, compared to that of Axel this pregnancy is the quietest”

“I don’t really know how you stay so calm. If I were you, I would have set fire to half the city,” Jess admitted.

“To what end? It would not solve the problems that Axel has, certainly, I could take revenge but honestly speaking I do not care, I do not want to waste my time with those parasites of society. I prefer to use my time to take care of my baby” I said shrugging “And then wasting time with them would only piss me off even more and at the moment I don’t want to get angry” I continued stroking my belly.

Jess sighed, “Your calm is scary sometimes,” she said later.

*****

We returned home in the afternoon. Axel had slept for hours and hours lying next to Emma, as he had not in months. He didn’t even wake up when I left him and I went to buy some things for the new house. I felt more relieved, maybe there could be improvements and maybe it was not necessary to talk to a specialist but still, I would have waited for Nate to talk to him.

Now Axel seemed calmer, he had put himself on the mat with his games and continued to play quietly making verses and noises. Amazing how a day at Jess’ home had reassured him, maybe that was the remedy he needed, maybe we had found a solution, but I waited before singing victory too soon

While Axel was playing, I fixed up a few things and devoted myself to studying because I wasn’t taking classes. I sat on the sofa and started to study, occasionally throwing an eye on Axel who in the meantime was playing happily.

I stayed in my bubble until dinner, which is when Nate hadn’t shown up. When I realized the time, I frowned and went to make dinner.

Axel followed me into the kitchen and I picked him up by putting him in his table seat and giving him juice while I started making dinner. I was almost done, but there was no sign of Nate, so I texted him.

Are you all right?

Yes mon amour, I’m messed up at work.

Are you coming back for dinner?

I don’t think.

I’ll leave it in the oven.

He finished making dinner and I made Axel eat and I hate myself. After I fixed everything I took Axel to the bathroom to wash him and he strangely got me to wash him too, almost making me cry and filling me with k****s every time I approached him.

All in all, it wasn’t going badly.