The Great Unpacking Of Love
Part 19

As a teenager, I questioned my real philosophical beliefs. Quite naturally, I followed the secular path which seemed to better correspond to my aspirations. However, I am not sectarian, I have deep respect for all forms of belief, provided that it is respectful of human beings and their fragility when they stumble in the twists and turns of their life. You see, Mantinko, even though I am an impious person, that does not prevent me from venerating my own Gods: humanity, respect and love towards others.

I think that everything that happens to me is not a coincidence. I feel like someone is dropping huge bombs of suffering on my path so that I can defuse them and come out stronger. Each time, I redesign my life towards my real aspirations.

I owe you a confession, I feel more and more often the presence of a God or rather a Goddess in my existence. This seems to guide me in my life choices, by dotting my path with little white pebbles like Tom Thumb. It’s up to me to choose the right path, the one that will bring me my share of earthly happiness.

— It’s funny what you say. In Islam, every action of man is predestined. In the Quran it is written “God does not impose on any soul a burden greater than its capacity” (Quran 2:285). Man is free, but God knows in advance the choices he will make, good or bad.

I think that it is Allah who sent me this ordeal. It’s up to me to try to get through it, through prayer in particular, to overcome this terrible ordeal and emerge from it grown. But you Adèle, who do you think is sending you these tests?

– My mother.

– Your mother ?

— Yes, my mother. I was barely six years old when she died of a devastating voluntary illness of human despair.

— Damn, you lost your mother at six years old! What ? I did not understand very well.

— We can say to be politically correct that she died an unnatural death.

— Was she murdered?

— You could say that in a way except that she murdered herself.

— Did she commit suicide?

– Yes.

— Damn, seeing you, I could never have guessed that you had experienced such an abominable thing. Come, Adèle, let me surround you with my big, warm, coffee-colored bodybuilder arms.

— I know many who would die to be in my place, Mantinko. THANKS. How good your human warmth and tenderness feels! You know since my mother died, I’ve always hated being held. Thank you, thank you Mantinko for allowing me to achieve this again.

Damn, did you see the time? We absolutely have to go back, the nurses will think that we have violated point 4 of the ROI by frolicking in the weeds.

—Many people already believe that, Adèle. Let them believe, it’s our secret.

— Mantinko, I love you like no other.

— Me too, Adèle.

— I love you more than anything, but with an intense and reciprocal platonic love without any carnal connotation. This chaste love imbued with deep respect seems to allow us both fulfillment and perpetual Love. It’s a very strong feeling.

— How well said Adèle, even if I’m not sure I understood everything. I think we are communicating vessels of tenderness. Our two sufferings of very different origins allow each of us to raise our heads. Just like our totally different origins and culture.

– Noir et blanc ! I feel like I’m your zygomatic coach and you’re my bodyguard. What an emotional shock team!

— Adèle, you saw the time, we really have to go this time, otherwise we will miss the march of the Emperor of Stomachs on Legs!

Day 35

— Madam Ying, tell me about your father.

— I was raised by an authoritarian father with a sixty-eighter exterior who taught me to fight against adversity, injustice, the unthinkable, the blows of fate.

—And your mother?

— I don’t have a mother.

— You mean you no longer have a mother?

— No, I repeat, I don’t have a mother.

— Every child has a mother, that’s undeniable.

— I agree, but I don’t have a mother. On the other hand, I had a mother.

—Why is it so difficult for you to say “Mom,” Mrs. Ying?

— Because it makes me suffer excruciatingly!

Day 45

— Hello, has anyone seen Mantinko this morning?

— No, Adèle.

— Me neither, sorry.

—And you, Van Gogh?

— I think I caught a glimpse of him about an hour ago with a nurse.

— Do you know where they were going?

– Not at all. However, your little protégé seemed terribly down.

– Beaten down ?

— Yes, as if emptied of all energy, of all human substance.

— Vincent, you worry me.

—It’s just the pure truth.

Adèle, I think the head nurse is calling you.

— Oh yes, thank you Vincent. Were you calling me, sir?

— Yes, Mrs. Ying. Mantinko dropped off an envelope for you, here it is.

Dear Adèle,

You who are trying to penetrate my heart, pay no attention to the disorder that reigns there. I made a huge mistake yesterday…

Written under assistance

– Do you know what happened? He’s talking big bullshit.

— Unfortunately, Madam, I cannot tell you, due to professional secrecy.

— Nothing about your professional secrecy! Please, sir, Mantinko is my friend, I must know!

—Mission impossible, Madame Ying.

– We will see.

— Madam Ying be very careful, you are about to violate point no. 3 of the KING

— I know, I know. It is forbidden to go into another patient’s room.

—Stop in time, Madam Ying.

Day 46

No trace of Mantinko.

Day 47

My Sand Prince still shows no sign of life.

Day 48

I’m starting to get really worried. What happened to him ?

Day 49

I see Mantinko, like a truly wounded animal hiding in his den, timidly coming out of his room.

—Hello my beautiful Prince.

– … day.

— Come, I invite you to lunch at my table.

— Not with the others, Adèle. I want to be away from these loudmouths. I want to stay in my bubble. I’m in pain, it’s awful!

— Mantinko, have you seen your forearms? What the hell have you done again?

– Nothing !

— Do you take me for an idiot? You tried again to pass from life to death. Why, but why?

— At the beginning of the week, you went home to your family for two days. It ruined my morale. Your absence made me face my loneliness and the fact that I am alone in the world.

As if that wasn’t enough, I had to go to the Foreigners’ Office for the third time to try to obtain the precious ticket to the promised land. As always, the official asked me to tell my story in great detail. He asked me extremely torturous questions that made me anxious and caused horrible pain to rise through my body. All my memories were colliding and spinning in my head. My head was spinning and I felt ready to pass out. Reliving the unthinkable, the inhuman, the barbarism, MY ordeal brought up in me an anger close to Etna and Vesuvius combined. An inner force pushed me to rush towards this pathetic official. He only owes his life to the two police officers on duty.