The Alpha's Exchanged Mate
The Alpha’s Exchanged Mate – Chapter 195

Edwina’s POV…

It felt like my b***d had run dry when Xander told me about Ben’s death. B***d rushed through my ear, and I didn’t want to believe what I had just heard. Ben had been a major tormentor in my life, but a treacherous part of my heart still held long feelings for him.

His death made something strike my heart that made me shriek in pain. Xander almost fell to the ground as he jumped off the bed to fetch me some water.

“Here!” He handed the filled glass to me, his eyes darting back and forth in worry.

I gulped down the content, trying to breathe steadily. My throat itched from all the tears I had been pumping out all day and night. I felt not just physically exhausted, but my soul was too.

Ben was the first person I would ever fall in love with, despite his bad attitude towards me. It still didn’t put off the fact that my mind and body yearned for him.

“You okay?” Xander inquired.

I tried to compose myself and not end up expressing or giving off my heartful thoughts to him. He wouldn’t only feel pained but also heartbroken, maybe I cared too much about what he felt, and I didn’t want to be one of those who hurt him.

Xander had been nothing but sweet and thoughtful towards me and my requests since we got married. That explains so much about him. I can brood over the loss of Ben when I am alone, not when the one person who has shown genuine care towards me is sitting in front of me.

“I’m fine.” I coughed out, “I was just taken aback by the news. How did he die?”

Releasing his knee from beneath him, Xander returned to his sitting position before I acted up.

“It was an unintentional killing on the part of my men. He had tried to attack them; it was just mere self-defence.” He responded.

“Then, are you on good terms with the sizzlers pack now?”

“We weren’t so much of friends or enemies, but we both kept to our boundaries. Until Ben decided he wanted to betray the pack and teamed up with alpha Bethel. Bethel is the kind of person who would take just about anything from you as long as it’s beneficial to him. Which implies he can switch sides at the drop of a heart.”

I didn’t seem too surprised by what Xander said; people like alpha Bethel don’t have a particular direction regarding who they relate to. When Ben and I were married, I would see him send and buy numerous expensive things that weren’t necessary and send it all down to sizzlers pack. I had thought there were just mere gestures.

Now that I thought deeply about it, Ben had always been sneaky and did show signs of becoming one’s enemy.

“You look so pale. Are you that affected by what I just said?” Xander had his face fixed in a worried frown.

I shrugged, “just too many news at the same time. You said John is right here with us in the pack?”

“He is in the dungeon.”

“Do you mind if I see him, please?” I pleaded.

Xander grinned, “definitely. Maybe I forgot to tell you this, but his sentence is all up to you to decide.”

I nodded my head absentmindedly, trying not to think of Ben. “I would like to go now.”

He looked really tired and exhausted, I knew I was being selfish at the moment, but I wanted to feast on the fact that I was grieving and needed every support that could be provided.

“Okay. Help me with the wheel, please.” Xander sounded distant, but even if he was, there was no sign of it on his face.

I got down from the bed, shifting the wheel near the edge of the bed to help him get in. Watching him turn round the bed in an attempt to sit in the wheelchair made me wonder how tall Xander was and if he would look more attractive if he stood on his legs.

“Shouldn’t you have a change of cloth?” Inquired Xander

I let out a short gasp, almost forgetting I was only in my nightwear. Dragging my stiff body to the bathroom, I tried to take a hurried shower to keep myself awake. As the water touched my skin, it stung. Tears rolled down my eyes with no actual thought of it. There was no way I could get over two deaths in an expanse of four days.

“Edwina!” Xander’s voice brought me out of my reverie.

I must have been in here for too long. He was by the bathroom door when I got out. His eyes trailed over my wet body, sending tingles down my spine. My thoughts were going wild again.

“Edwina!” Xander held my hand in the softest kind of way. Maybe I can’t remember, but I don’t think he had ever been so mushy around me. “I know this might be hard for you, but I want you to act as unbothered as you can. John might try to get in your head and make you feel uncertain about your feelings. But don’t let him. He has hurt you just about enough, don’t let him continue with it. You deserve to be happy and express your anger in a way you feel. Don’t suppress it anymore, please.”

The tears were coming again; I knew exactly what Xander meant by his words. My father is the greatest manipulator I have ever encountered. When Ben had asked for my hand in marriage, and I had been a bit hesitant, he had said so much to me I had no choice but to do as told. He knew just what to say to hurt me and how to get to me.

Wiping my tears off, I looked up at him, “you don’t have to worry. I’m too exhausted to let out any emotions for him to pick on.”

Xander smiled up at me, “that’s my girl.”