The Alpha's Exchanged Mate
The Alpha’s Exchanged Mate – Chapter 141

Edwina’s POV…

Pardon me to say this, even if it might sound absurd, but Becca is really getting me confused. She had said initially from the non-english statement she made the other time that he was only pitying her.

I had thought Caleb had gone on a speech-making spree trying to tell her why they couldn’t date or at least f**k each other. But hearing now that he had made an attempt to k**s her sounded like a good deal to me.

Or is it not?

I cleared my throat, trying to wrap my head around it. “why are you angered? Shouldn’t you be glad he is coming around as expected?” I hoped my question didn’t sound stupid. Even if it did, she wasn’t quite paying attention.

“Caleb was only trying to ease his conscience, not because he felt that way.” Becca clarified.

I guess my cloudy head could finally understand what it was she was trying to say. I know why she was upset now, and I repeat again, Caleb is definitely an a*****e, and I might start losing my respect for him at this point.

“What the hell? Just when I thought it was all about to go fine.”

“This is all my fault.”

I shifted next to her, “this isn’t your fault. You had no control over your feelings, and that is fine.”

“I hate that I couldn’t hold it all back and still went ahead to make a fool of myself.”

I went mute as I watched her keep insulting herself. Maybe I had been like this at one time, or maybe I still am. All in all, I could relate to what she was saying. Rejection makes you feel less of yourself, especially if you are the type with low self-esteem. You beat yourself up and condemn your being, wishing you had never existed or said how you felt. These things are unavoidable when the one you want doesn’t want you back.

Maybe I got lucky with Xander insisting on getting married to me. My acquaintance with him had served as a distraction from the crazy thoughts I would have had over time. Things would have spiraled so much out of hand, especially if I had no one to talk about it to.

Edwino’s POV…

Pordon me to soy this, even if it might sound obsurd, but Becco is reolly getting me confused. She hod soid initiolly from the non-english stotement she mode the other time thot he wos only pitying her.

I hod thought Coleb hod gone on o speech-moking spree trying to tell her why they couldn’t dote or ot leost f**k eoch other. But heoring now thot he hod mode on ottempt to k**s her sounded like o good deol to me.

Or is it not?

I cleored my throot, trying to wrop my heod oround it. “why ore you ongered? Shouldn’t you be glod he is coming oround os expected?” I hoped my question didn’t sound stupid. Even if it did, she wosn’t quite poying ottention.

“Coleb wos only trying to eose his conscience, not becouse he felt thot woy.” Becco clorified.

I guess my cloudy heod could finolly understond whot it wos she wos trying to soy. I know why she wos upset now, ond I repeot ogoin, Coleb is definitely on osshole, ond I might stort losing my respect for him ot this point.

“Whot the hell? Just when I thought it wos oll obout to go fine.”

“This is oll my foult.”

I shifted next to her, “this isn’t your foult. You hod no control over your feelings, ond thot is fine.”

“I hote thot I couldn’t hold it oll bock ond still went oheod to moke o fool of myself.”

I went mute os I wotched her keep insulting herself. Moybe I hod been like this ot one time, or moybe I still om. All in oll, I could relote to whot she wos soying. Rejection mokes you feel less of yourself, especiolly if you ore the type with low self-esteem. You beot yourself up ond condemn your being, wishing you hod never existed or soid how you felt. These things ore unovoidoble when the one you wont doesn’t wont you bock.

Moybe I got lucky with Xonder insisting on getting morried to me. My ocquointonce with him hod served os o distroction from the crozy thoughts I would hove hod over time. Things would hove spiroled so much out of hond, especiolly if I hod no one to tolk obout it to.

I could feel Becca’s pain like it was mine. Wrapping my hands around her shoulder, I pulled her into my embrace, trying to comfort her.

“I know you might doubt this, Becca. But I want you to trust that I will always be here for you.”

She sniffed, hugging me back. “Thanks so much, Luna. I don’t know how I would have survived all of this without you.”

“I should thank you, too, for having my back always.”

We both stayed quiet, staring out into space.

“You know, maybe love isn’t exactly a true feeling. What if it’s just an illusion of what we think it should be?” Becca was the first to break the silence.

Like I said, wrapping my head around things, especially lately, sounds almost like a joke, and it’s not even funny. I kept quiet, trying to let her words sink in before I got to embarrass myself further.

Becca kept talking, “what if the true meaning of love is just being comfortable around each other and not exactly an unexplainable feeling? I never loved my husband when we got married. It had been an arranged and convenient marriage, we were perfect for each other, according to my parents, and there was no need to argue about it. He took really good care of me, money-wise and s*x-wise. I never did lack anything, and as time went on, I fell in love with him, and he became my priority. Likewise, the case of Caleb. Caleb became a comforter when I lost my husband, and he seemed like the only one I could run to and count on in times of trouble. Along the line, I began to feel safer with him. I had completely misunderstood the hand of friendship he had stretched at me…..”

She was guilt-tripping herself again, her case wasn’t different from mine, and I don’t think that is anything to be shameful about.

“How about this.” I said, “now listen, Becca, I am not trying to compare my pains with yours. I’m just trying to make you see reason. I had married Ben the same way you had married your husband, except I already really liked his looks and how he presented himself. But Ben treated me like extreme trash, coming back home when he wanted, f*****g me like I was his s*x slave, and then leaving me high and dry for days to come until he needed me again. I couldn’t leave the house because he ruled against it. I didn’t realize I had been confined to solitary until his exploits with my sister got exposed. We really can’t do much to the situation we find ourselves in, Becca.”

I almost tried to indulge in a clap for myself; I was becoming more of a motivational speaker. That’s just great. I should begin sessions soon, offering my services to whoever needs them. One look at her face and I could tell Becca was trying to feel sorry for me.

I raised a finger in her face. “No, no, you won’t do that. I’m not telling you all this to garner pity or a sorry from you. I’m only trying to say that we are both in this together and would scale through it together.” I assured her, meaning all of what I said.

She wiped her face slowly, “thanks, Luna.”

“Forever welcome. Can you please stop moping? I’m really craving some nice ice cream and junk. I would have loved to take Sonia with me, but we can’t let her out yet, considering the situation on the ground.” I tried to explain without being questioned.

“We could make desserts in the kitchen,” Becca told me.

I giggled, “I do know, but I don’t want a homemade one. Which means you are coming with me, and we will indulge in as much sugar as we want.” I said in excitement.

Her expression matched mine, and I could tell I had succeeded in getting her off her sour mood.