Hell Of A Marriage
Chapter 12

"S*x is an act which is not possible in self- abasement, only in self-exaltation, only on the confidence of being desired and being worthy of desire. It is an act that forces them to stand naked in spirit, as well as in body and accept their real ego as their standard of value. -Ayn Rand

"I'm so glad you're okay, babe," he mumbles into my hair and hugs me harder. There is so much comfort warm in his arm

I chuckle happily, and hug him tightly as well "Me too Levi, me too." I reply, my hands rubbing his back slowly and he seems to relax even more at my touch.

It's been under twenty-four hours since we last saw each other and it already feels like forever and I don't want to lose it again.

He let go of me and takes my lips into his and kisses me deeply and desperately, and I kiss back giving as much as I am receiving. I wrap my arms around his neck and pulling him even closer to me. His arms pull me tighter against his body and I lean more into him, as I let him take control of the kiss accepting his warm soft tongue into my mouth.

We pull away, trying to catch out breaths and I bite down slowly on my lips, trying to control the feelings running through me as my eyes open to look at him.

Levi takes both my hands and kisses them like he normally does before speaking, "I kept trying your phone line all through last night, but it never went through and when I called Alian this morning, she told me you didn't come home last night and I became really worried. I thought something bad might have happened to you, I was so worried Ari."

I try to look away, but my attempt to escape the question and avoid his eyes fails when his left thumb holds my chin up so I can look him in the eyes. I bite my lips harder to stop them from quivering. "I'm sorry I made you feel that way, Levi." I can't begin to imagine the much stress he must have gone through worrying about me.

When Levi is worried, he barely eats or gets sleep and I know this because I was with him last year when his mother suffered a heart attack and had to be rushed into the hospital.

His father called and informed him and although he couldn't go there because he was financially down, he stayed up worrying and calling every single minute of that day. Although I tried to reassure him that his mother was going to be fine constantly calling his father to check up on them. His mother survived and got better but not before he wore himself out with worrying. It was one day I would never forget and from the look of things, he must have gone through all that last night alone.

"It's okay Vary," he answers, brushing that aside, still holding my chin up he asks, "What happened last night? Why were we unable to reach you? Why didn't you go home last night?"

Oh goodness, so many questions to be answered.

I take a deep strengthening breath, unable to unlock my gaze from his. I take his right hand and gently squeeze it, "First promise me you won't get mad and you would try and understand what I'm going to say." "Okay," he trails off, his voice is weary and unsure and I know he's worried and I don't want that.

"I slept over at Keenan house last night." I let the first bomb drop and although Levi's eyes don't give any negative reaction away, his hands tighten around mine, I don't know if it from fear or something else.

Yes, Levi knows about Keenan I didn't hide anything from him except the relationship of Taylor and Keenan which Keenan made me keep, from the unwanted lunch he always made to make me have with him four years ago, to his sudden return and demand for lunch. There was nothing I didn't share with Levi and nothing he didn't share with me as well.

"Okay," he starts to say slowly, his voice low and unsure. His blue eyes weaver a bit before they firmly hold mine again, "I trust you Vary, I know nothing happened."

If only you know.

My eyes drop from his and I let go off his hand and move away from the little heated space between us. A tear slip down my face and I turn from him to quickly wipe it off, but they only fall more.

I had the perfect man in my life, his name was Levi Playa, he had every single thing I wanted in a man, patience, understanding, love and trust and now I feel like I am about to lose all that. Do I not deserve someone as good as Levi? Why am I even in this mess to begin with? I wish there is a way to go back and correct everything that has happened in the last twenty-four hours, then I'll choose a completely different path and save myself from this complicated position.

"Did something happen between the two of you?" He enquires, the horror in his voice tears me apart and I can't stop more tears from running down my face.

I sniff, "No" and shake my head and wipe off the tears on my face, "We- I'm-" I stutter weakly, not knowing how to put the words. I feel Levi strong hands rest on my shoulders and turns me to look at him again.

I sniff, "No" and shake my head and wipe off the tears on my face, "We- I'm-" I stutter weakly, not knowing how to put the words. I feel Levi strong hands rest on my shoulders and turns me to look at him again. "Tell me, Ari." He urges with a soft, but I can tell he's desperate to know what had happened.

In all the two years of our relationship never has it been so hard to look at him, but that now it's so hard. Guilt eats me up like a cankerworm and a bitter feeling grows in my stomach.

I shake my head, fidgeting with my fingers nervously, "We weren't supposed to... but we were drugged."

"Drugged into doing what?" he frowns in confusion as he stares at me. His confusion seems to hurt even more than I ever imagine.

I drag a deep breath, "Into getting married Levi, I got married to Keenan last night," I rush over the words in a moment before I chicken out and fail to say the words again.

He inhales sharply and his hands finally fall away from my face and coldness hit my face and I shiver. I watch him lose the composure he has had on in the last couple of minute and a look of loss take hold of his face... His face goes pale and the emotions it has had on in the last ten minutes disappears... This time he turns away and starts to walk away from me, taking ten steps away and he rests his head against the wall, close the window, his breath begins to rise and fall heavily. The ray of sun coming from the window to his left, brushing the small hair at the side of his face and I don't know if I should admire or be afraid of him.

"Levi please," I say, feeling the heavy lump in my throat. "say something."

He doesn't say anything at first then the next thing I know he throws a hard fist against the wall and I jump up in fear and panic and I clutch on to my chest hardly as I watch him take the frustration out on the wall.

This is the side of him I've never seen before, the Levi I knew wasn't a violent man, he was soft, gentle, reserved and tender, but this violent, angry and frustrated man isn't him.

We have had disagreements and have fallen out over the years but he never lost his temper or got physically abusive or aggressive, not once.

"Levi stop please," I beg, my lips trembling greatly, but I can't go close to him. "I don't want you to be this way."

We have been each other's companion in the last two years but now that can't happen anymore.

He angrily turns to me, "What do you want me to do then?" he asks, approaching me and I back a step up, shaking from the inside out, "Throw a feast and jubilate because the woman I love is now married to her boss who can offer her more than I ever can?!" he exclaims, looking into my eyes in hurt and anger.

How could he ever think that? Keenan may be richer but he knows me better, I loved him and Keenan's money means nothing to me, I'd still chose him any day.

"Levi that's not true-" I protest in an instant, his grief was making him say things that weren't true.

"You might not say it, but we both know it is true, or else why would you stay the night at his home? You want a better man and you know I can never be that man, so you chose your boss."

His words hit a hardcore and memories of the word my father always told my mother run back into my head and I begin to wonder if I'm talking to my boyfriend or a replica of my father. Levi was accusing me of things I didn't do, things I didn't think of and I guess fear brings doubt but there should be a line.

"I'm as affected as you are, I do not want to be married to someone I do not have any feeling for goodness sake, it happened and now what I expect is for you to stand by me through this messed-up time."

I say and more tears run down my face, but I don't even mind them anymore, I'm beyond hurt and affected by his tactless use of words and his blatant disregard for my feeling.

His face drops so fast it almost makes me laugh except nothing happening now is funny.

He covers his face with his large palms and wipes it down slowly and I see his eyes are lightly close, "I don't know what to think. I have so much to lose-"

I stop him before he can say more. "And so do I," I say stepping away from him and walking towards the door. "Nothing was supposed to happen last night, but it did and I'm already halfway into losing you so I'm going to go home and think about everything that has happened."

Levi doesn't say a word or call out to me like he normally does when we have a fight and I'm about to leave, he silently stare as I walk out of his apartment.

I take a cab home and once I get into my bedroom, I throw myself down on the bed, unable to cry for my already broken heart, I lay my head on the pillow and pull the cover-up before closing my eyes.

..

My ringing phone makes me jerk out of my sleepy state and open my eyes, my head pound heavily from waking up so suddenly and the rapid beating of my heart doesn't help either. I rub my head gently trying to reduce the intense pain I am feeling. I search on the bed until I find my phone and I answer it and place it to my ear.

I rub my eye sleepily, still wanting to go back to sleep but that wanting doesn't stay long, "Where on earth did you drop your phone Ms Klean?" comes the annoyed voice of Keenan.

Oh well, there goes my sleep.

I roll my eyes, 'Well hello to you too Mr Hilton!' I say to myself, feeling half awake already.

I hear him hiss over the phone, "There are better things to say than hello, Ms Klean." he replies, his voice holding on to the annoyed tone.

I should have known better than to try and win an argument with Keenan Hilton.

"What do you want?" I finally ask in no mood to battle words with him.

"How fast can you make it back here?" he demands like I'm his bus girl, but he's crazy if he thinks I'm ever coming back to that nightmare called a house.

Is he okay or did he hit his head hard against the wall?!

I properly seat up on the bed, getting ready for the war. "I'm not coming back there Mr Hilton and I'm still not going to come even if you or your house is on fire and I'm the only one in the whole world who can put it out and you want to know why I'll do that? Because I don't care about you, so I do not care what happens to you. Is that clear enough for you?"

"You're being ridiculous Ms Klean, neither my house nor I are on fire." He says with a ridiculous tone.

He certainly doesn't understand sarcasm that much now does he?

"There are important clauses in this file I'm just beginning to see now and I've been reading through the last five hour and we seem to have signed more than we thought. There was also a prenup we both signed. And I need you to come over and have my lawyer explain the clauses to you."

"I'm not-"

"Ascolta la giovane signora (Listen, young lady)"

"I do not understand Japanese!" I angrily snap at him.

"It's not Japanese, it's Italian young lady," he growls and I might not see him, but I know he's rolling his eyes now. "This is very important for both of us."

"I'm not coming and that's final." I meant it when I said that I was done with him. I didn't want to be anywhere near him again, at least not until this whole mess blows over. All this is his fault, but I'm tired of blaming him.

Ignoring my stern warning, he continues, "Roberto would be at your place any moment from now he's going to help you pack your things together and bring them here."

It's either I'm hearing things or he just suggested that we move in together. As if the havoc that caused us isn't enough yet, he wants me there and I never even told him where I lived!

"What do you mean pack my things together?! And how the hell do you know where I live?" I demand, getting up from my bed and moving to my window and just like he says a Prado jeep comes to a stop in front of my house and a man in a black tuxedo, in his early forties and with a not-so-friendly-face walks out and begin to walk towards the door.

I stumble away from my widow in panic and I only snap back to hear Keenan's voice, "You need to come and live here until the whole madness of the marriage passes." He states flatly sounding a little burdened by it all.

"I'm not your wife, I don't see any reason why I should come live with you besides we can work on the divorce even if I'm a million miles away," I argue because I've seen such cases happen before, so there is no reason to wear each other out with our presence. "Don't be absurd Varisha, last I checked, you are my wife according to the law and as much as I love to stay and argue on the phone, I'd really like to do it in person Bella (beautiful.)"

Why do I always have to have bad luck? What did I ever do wrong?!

"I didn't ask for this." I remind him in regret.

"I didn't plan for this either! And you do better to come along with Roberto and than have me come there cause I can assure you that that won't be nice," he advises, more of threatens.