Gone Bitch: A Parody of Gone Girl
Gone Bitch: Part 1 – Chapter 19

Today I was nosing through Nick’s computer looking at all his personal files and email, which I do twice a day. And I found a book proposal.

Married to a Bitch Who’s 15 Pounds Overweight will especially resonate with Gen X males, but will also appeal to any male who’s married to a woman who’s a bitch or 15 pounds overweight.

In Married to a Bitch Who’s 15 Pounds Overweight, I will detail:

–My wife being a bitch

–My wife being 15 pounds overweight

–How terrible my life is being married to a bitch who’s 15 pounds overweight

There was more to the proposal, but I didn’t have time to read it because I had to go to the blood plasma donation place with Nick’s mom and her friends. I didn’t actually give any plasma. Instead, I intentionally fainted right before I was supposed to give plasma, because “I get freaked out by blood.” I therefore got all the credit of going to donate plasma without actually having to do it.

Idiotic Amy? More like Idiotic Everyone Who Actually Gives Plasma.