Butterscotch Souls: The Morningstar Series: Book 4
Butterscotch Souls – Chapter 33

“Are you sure that you are ready for this?” Ambrose asked as he put his hand on mine to stop me from opening the file.

I looked up into my mates kind blue eyes.

“I don’t think I have a choice at this point.” I said and then looked back at the file. “Besides, I think I’m ready. As long as I have you I can face anything that this file says.” I told him.

Ambrose squeezed my hand and then removed it. “Okay. Let’s see what it says.”

Again, I took another deep breath.

This time I really did open the file. The first page was all my basic information from the last week that I was there. My height, a picture from when I was 13 and had a shaved head, eye color, weight, powers, b***d type, and anything else of basic information.

I flipped to the next page and read what it had to say. It has written comments of my first surgery. I was six months old. They had done a minor surgery with some kind of scope camera. It is noted that the inside of my body looks that of any normal human. Also, that is when they found out that I heal much faster than a human.

Apparently once the scope was taken out, my wound had healed completely within seconds.

The next page held my next surgery that happened only two months later. This was also a simple surgery. I didn’t understand some of the terminology but from what I gathered they used another scope to look at something inside of me.

This went on for another two years. Minor surgerys, mostly scopes and cameras that searched the inside of my body. It wasn’t as horrible as I was expecting it to be. Until I got to age 4. There is a long note explaining something that I have no memory of.

Today subject zero stated that she has been hearing a voice in her head. She claims the voice has a name. The subject calls her Adria. If subject zero were a normal human or even a normal supernatural I would assume that Adria is an imaginary friend, but since she is not I am left to wonder what this voice is.

The note was short but told me one big thing that I needed to know. I have a wolf. Well, had.. But this is proof. I started to hear her when I was just four years old..

“Do you see this?” I asked my mate as I looked up at him.

Ambrose is frowning deeply at the page but managed to nod.

“You heard her earlier than me or Tate.” He told me with a small smile. “Do you want to take a break?” He asked, his eyes full of concern.

I shook my head.

“No, I need to know. Now that I know her name.. I just… Is it weird that it makes it more real for me?” I asked him.

Ambrose shook his head and kissed my cheek.

“Not at all my love.” He assured me and then looked back at the page. “Adria..” He whispered out.

Something in the way he said my wolf’s name sparked something in me. A primal feeling washed over me and it made my brain foggy. Ambrose is still staring at the page with a frown. There’s something I need but… what?

“You okay?” Ambrose asked me.

I shook my head trying to clear the fog, it worked. “Yeah I’m good. Let’s keep reading.” I said before turning the page.

The next several pages were about them trying to evaluate my psyche. Some of the days I went along with it but it seemed the more they wanted from me the more I was rebelling. There were mentions about me being locked in my room with no food or water. Sometimes I was beaten into submission, though that didn’t seem to work. I came across a page with another written paragraph.

Subject zero has refused to leave her room. This is the third day in a row that she has refused. No matter how many times she is hit, or how hungry or thristy she gets, she still refuses. This Adria has the subject convinced that we are evil. I have to do something about this Adria.

“Do something about Adria..?” I mumbled. Ambrose let out a low growl and my eyes snapped up to him. “You okay?” I asked.

Ambrose shook his head.

“Yeah sorry, it’s just… It’s like Kohen is beyond livid. He wants b***d.” He told me.

I only nodded at him, that makes sense, he is my mate.

My attention returned to the pages in the file. I flipped through to the next page to find it was dated for a few days later. There was another written section.

We finally managed to persuade subject zero into coming out of her room. I started out small with letting her play with some toys. Then I hooked her up to the EGG and began to ask the subject questions. Subject zero answered the first ten questions before growing irritated.

Still, I continued on.

After two more questions the subject became unstable. Subject zero shouted and tossed the table to the side of the room. A growl erupted from the small child. I had her sedated and taken back to her room. But I have heard a growl fimiliar to that before. Is subject zero a Werewolf?

I suppose I will need to speak to her mother.

My eyes went wide at the last sentence. My mother was still alive? I looked up at Ambrose who was still frowing at the page.

“It looks like it didn’t take them long to start piecing it together. That means they were aware of most, if not all, the supernatural creatures.” He commented.

“My mother was still alive when I was four… When did she die?” I asked.

I knew that my mate didn’t hold the answer to my question. He squeezed the arm he has wrapped around me. Tears filled my eyes. She was alive… They kept us apart all that time.

“Do you want a break?” Ambrose asked softly.

A single tear fell down my cheek but I shook my head.

“I need to know.” I said.

“Well, let’s get more comfortable at least.” He suggested.

My mate got up and moved back on our bed so that his back is on our headboard. I watched him as he moved. Then he patted his lap and opened his arms for me. I sniffled and crawled over to sit between his legs.

Putting my back to his chest I blew out a breath and relaxed into my mate. Ambrose wrapped his arms around me and opened the file for me.

The next page was another written section. It was labeled for the same date as the page before. My heart started to beat faster as I began to read.

I talked with subject one, the mother of subject zero. Unfortunately we had to torture the information out of subject one. We also had to promise that we would let her see her duaghter if she gave us the information I wanted. Of course I would never allow that to happen.

After some time subject one finally admitted who the father of her child is, though it left the subject in bad shape. A Wereworlf. Some kind of Alpha. Subject one would not tell us his name, no matter the pain we put her through.

Eventually she was too worn out. I did not get all the information I wanted but at least I know that subject zero is part Werewolf. Now all we need to figure out is how to kill it.

My eyes went wide once more. The last sentence.. Did they really kill Adria? Is there really no hope for my wolf?

I flipped to the next page. More surgeries that meant nothing to my wolf. The next page. Hooked up to the EGG again. I flipped through page after page, skimming through until there was another mention of my wolf. Finally, after ten pages and a few months later I came across another written page.

I met with one of my connections this morning to discuss the matter of subject zero’s wolf. My connection told me that I needed to do something before subject zero’s first shift. And that could happen at any time. I need to work on a formula to surpress the wolf until I can figure out how to kill that part of the subject.

I flipped the page to find another written paragraph dated for the day after.

I have been working on a formula for nearly twelve straight hours. I think it is finally finished. Tomorrow I will test it on one of the Werewolf subjects on level 0. If it works, then I will inject subject zero with it twice a week.

Those injections I would get twice a week… I put my hand up to my neck as I remembered them. They would make me feel awful, like lava being pushed through my viens. Often, I would struggle to move after…

“I can’t believe they did this.. And they had others there.. I never even seen others..” I whispered.

Ambrose is gently rubbing my arms and I admit that it is soothing. I don’t think that I would have gotten this far without him, let alone to continue. I soaked in the warmth he gives me and tried to be brave as I turned the page.

Another written paragraph.

Werewolf subject one: 20 years old. Male. Comes from Beta bloodline. Injected with formula at 10:24 p.m. Convulsed and screamed in pain. Subject passed out for three hours. When he awoke he no longer could hear his wolf. Subject refused to talk.

Tears filled my eyes. All because of what I am someone lost their wolf. I wish I would have known. If Kiah broke in how did he not find them?

I need to find out.

“They had a Beta?” Ambrose mumbled. “How were they able to get someone of that kind of power? Something isn’t right here. Someone from our world was helping them.” He told me.

I turned my head to look up into his eyes.

“We need to find out. What if there are other places like this? Other labs?” I asked in a panic.

Other people are out there suffering just like I did. No… worse than I did.

“We can talk to Tia about it tomorrow.” Ambrose told me. “Let’s keep going.” He said and then kissed my head.

I turned the page to find more procedures done on me. At this point I am almost six years old. This time they knocked me out and completely opened me up. This specific ‘surgery’ went on for several pages. They took their time removing and replacing my organs.

Everytime my own grew back in its place within seconds. I had no idea I could regrow organs. Why was it so different when Lockern put us in that accident? I wasnt healing fast at all then.

There were tons and tons of notes about me coming to and them having to knock me out over and over. It seemed like they just liked to watch me heal. Like they were pushing my limits to see how far my abilities went. Finally, the experiment ended and the next page had another written section.

Subject zero has far more healing abilities than even her mother does. I am thoroughly impressed with this subject. After subject zero was healed and woken up from the surgery I took her to a special room. There is were I strapped her down and administered the first dose of the formula.

The subject had the same reaction as the Beta subject.

Subject zero screamed and thrashed around before finally passing out. I hooked up the EGG to her to see her brain waves. There was obvious signs that her wolf was still present but was not as strong as it was before. My forumla must have worked. I will question her in the morning.

I flipped to the next page to find another written section.

This morning I questioned subject zero before starting our daily routine of experiments. The subject states that she no longer hears the voice of her wolf. It was a struggle to get information from the subject, as she would not stop sobbing.

Thankfully it seems that the formula has worked to surpress her wolf. The subject complained about a burning pain throughout her body moments aftet the formula was administered. The subject states that she does not want to go through that again.

Perhaps I can use that to my advantage.

I flipped over to find a paragraph written mere hours after the last page.

Today’s experiment did not go as well as I would have liked. Subject zero was not healing the same way that she used to. I am unsure if it is an after affect of the formula itself, or the loss of the subjects wolf. It is disappointing but it seems we will have to dial back on the experiments.

It’s a shame. We will have to focus more on the subjects psyche and using her Djin abilities from now on. Experiments will continue.

Ambrose let out a low growl behind me. I turned my head and looked up at him. His eyes are glowing an orange color and his breathing is starting to grow heavier.

“Ambrose?” I asked but the only reaction I got was his eyes flickering to me for a moment.

“Kohen?” I tried again.

This time my mates eyes snapped to mine fully. His breathing grew even heavier as he stared down at me. And then his eyes softened and he let out a whimper that broke my heart. My mate reached up and cupped my cheek.

“I.. sorry..” His voice came out not sounding like normal.

Almost like it isn’t Ambrose’s voice, maybe it’s Kohens. Wolves usually can’t talk and that would explain the broken sentence.

I put my hand on top of his that was holding my cheek and leaned into his touch.

“Please don’t be sorry.” I told him. “I hate the pity.”

My mate let out another whimper.

“I… should.. been there… saved you..” He struggled to get out.

I set down the file and turned completely in his lap so that I am straddling him. Then I grabbed his face in my hands and started planting k****s all over him. After a few minutes I felt the rumble through my mates chest before I heard the chuckle.

“Okay, okay. I am back to normal.” Ambrose said.

“Don’t care.” I said between k****s. “This was for my benefit not yours.” I told him.

Ambrose chuckled again and let me k**s all over his face. When I was finally done I sat back and looked into his eyes. There was still sadness in his deep blues but it was mostly gone.

“Ambrose, you understand that none of this was your fault right?” I asked as I tapped on the file. “You didn’t even know me back then.”

“I know.” He said softly. “It’s just hard to read everything they put you through. Even though we haven’t met your wolf we still feel a connection to her. Especially Kohen.. He’s struggling to read that she was taken from you, from us.” He explained.

I nodded in understanding.

“Do you want me to finish reading it alone?” I asked.

Ambrose shook his head.

“No. I want to be here for you. Kohen promises to behave.” He told me.

“Well, he doesn’t have to. It’s not like he hurt me, he was just worried.” I said as I turned back around in Ambrose’s lap.

My mate chuckled and kissed the top of my head. He placed the file in my lap and I opened back up to where I was at. The file is so thick that I wondered if we would get through it all in one night. We had to though. I have to know.

Over the next hour I read page after page. Years of my life are plastered here. They talk about me like I’m a lab rat instead of the little girl I was.

How could they do these things to a child?

Most of it was the same. They experimented on me most days. That much I remember. The experiments were sometimes the same and sometimes different.

The more time that went on the less the experimented on me. They said that they were getting all the information they needed. There was mention about how I forgot all about my wolf and it was forbidden to tell me. I was so young that I still right now don’t remember Adria.

I couldn’t find anything else regarding another person at the lab other than my mother and I. There was no mention of the Beta they experimented on. None of anyone else either. I wondered what happened to the others.

Did they kill them?

There was a lot about my powers. My mother was the one to tell them how I grant wishes. Apparently that was the last thing she told them before dying. The person who had written in here, who I assume was Dr. Lucas, said that her body failed. She died of broken heart syndrome.

The pages theorized that she could no longer take being locked away from her daughter and her mate. Her organs started to shut down on their own. The only thing I knew about her is that her name was Sandra. There isn’t even a picture for me.

When I read about my mothers death I had to put the file down for a few minutes. Ambrose held me while I sobbed for the mother I never got to know. I cried for her and I cried for myself. This kind of heart ache was not what I was expecting to feel after reading about my mother.

I never even wanted to know about her before. That only made me feel more guilty. Ambrose did the best he could to soothe me. Eventually it worked. After I had calmed down I went right back to reading.

Thankfully, or not thankfully, there was no more mention of my mother. The rest was all simply me. Dr. Lucas wrote all the times he made me kill, anything he had wished for, and every detail of what it was like when I granted a wish. He also kept up on the injects with his special formula.

There was mention in my earlier years about my wolf coming back and me needing to have another dose. It was clear to me that Adria was trying to push through whatever had her asleep. Unfortunately, she never made it to the other side.

Dr. Lucas wrote that he needed to do something that would be more permanent. He feared that my wolf was growing too strong. As I flipped through the pages my anxiety grew and grew.

Finally, I was to the page before the last.

The new formula was not complete but it was too late I needed to use it. Subject zero might not realize when her wolf surfaces but I can see it in her eyes. The way they change. I couldn’t stand for it any longer. Dr. Isabella argued with me that the formula wasn’t ready but I demanded we go through with it regardless. We strapped the subject to the table and administered the formula. Subject zero had a much more severe reaction than usual. She thrashed and almost broke free of her retraints.

Thankfully we were able to keep her subdued. The subjects eyes changed to a glowing yellow color right before she passed out. I ran the same tests on her brain that I did for all the other doses. There was no sign of her wolf at all. It appears that I have succeeded in killing her wolf.

I will question the subject when she wakes.

I flipped to the very last page. This page was splattered with b***d. At first it freaked me out but then I realized that it was probably Dr. Lucas’s b***d. This must have been what he was doing when Kiah stormed the building. He was even cut off in the middle of writting.

I questioned subject zero but she refused to tell me anything. I tried to force her to her feet but she wobbled and fell back down. The subject is growing weaker without her wolf. The more experiments and wishes she goes through the weaker she gets.

At this point the subject is nearly useless. There is still no sign of her wolf though. Looks like my formula is perfected. Although, we might not have a use for this subject much longer.

Tomorrow I will try

That was it. There was nothing more. The sentence was cut right off. I stared at the page as tears filled my eyes.

“I still remember that day. It was my birthday. I didn’t even know I had a birthday until that day.” I said softly as tears began to fall. “I was 13.”

Ambrose circled his arms around me and hugged me to him as my tears fell harder. Sobs started to break through my chest as I finally allowed myself to feel. Not for my mother this time but for myself and Adria. Ambrose turned me around in his lap and I buried my head into his chest. Everything that they did to me…

All the experiments, taking my wolf, forcing me to kill. They robbed me of my childhood, my life, my parents. I never knew what love was or what having friends was like. Memories of me not knowing how to tie my shoes, or wear a bra surfaced. I recalled the way I felt the very first time I ever saw my reflection. The fact that I had no hair, the scars that were scattered along my body.

Everything they did to me.

“I am so sorry that you had to go through all of that Epperly.” Ambrose whispered into my hair.

I know that he is worried about me. I wish that I could tell him that I’m fine but I can’t. Words were too much for me to force out right now.

Ambrose forced soothing vibes through the bond and I could feel myself fighting them. Luckily, my mate is much stronger than me, especially right now. I clung to my mate as he whispered sweet nothings to me.

“The Moon Goddess blesses all of her children with the gift of a mate. I have been taught since the day I was born to value the gifts from our Goddess. She had no hand in what was done to you so I can’t blame her for that. But she gave me you still. I wish we could have met sooner. I wish we could have stayed together five years ago. I wish that I could have saved you and Adria from this life. But I promise we will wake her up. She has to be there within you. Kohen and I will find her.” He whispered to me.

“I love you more than anything. Your life is more important that anyone elses to me. I will fight with you, for you, and beside you forever. You are my soul, my heart, my mate.”

Ambrose continued this for several minutes. Actually, I am pretty sure this went on for almost an hour. Evenutally my sobs stopped.

Silent tears streamed down my face as I listened to the sweet words of my mate. His words sound like a poem to me. He is giving me hope. Maybe my wolf is not completely lost. Maybe I can find her again.

My eyes were growing heavy and eventually I succumbed. A small smile fell to my lips as I started to feel the hope spread in my chest. Is my wolf really still inside of me?

I’m here Epperly don’t worry. We will find each other soon.