Bullied Mate Of The Lycan Kings
Chapter 81

Ren's

POV

I could almost laugh.

This had to be a dream, right? A cruel, twisted dream. I'd wake up any minute now, back to my miserable life with Mauve, back to my worst fears that Lily didn't give two shits about me.

All of this had to be a dream.

Because there was no way Lily was standing in front of me right now, saying words that I had been wanting to hear from her for the longest time.

I was speechless, my heart speeding up as her words kept going over and over in my head.

Lily wanted me?

I saw her lips widen in a gentle smile as she closed the distance between us, her hands still cupping my cheeks, her chest flush against mine.

"Check my mind. You have my permission," She whispered, her lips brushing mine in the faintest hint of a kiss and I had to fist my hands at my sides to stop myself from grabbing her hips and crushing her to me and continuing from where we left off. Doing as she said, I scanned her mind and felt my heart squeeze in my chest when I saw how hurt she had been when she lied to me about not wanting me.

That day had opened up wounds from my past, my fear of loss and abandonment and I had been so scared to check her thoughts, wanting to hold on to the benefit of doubt and keep my last shred of dignity that I had instead of going into her mind and finding out that what she had told me was indeed true.

Her words had been more than enough to remind me of how my mother had not chosen me, of how Mauve had chosen everything that comes with our relationship but me. I had a freaking panic attack and dissociated badly moments later.

"Do you believe me now?" She whispered and I nodded, wrapping and arm around her waist and crushing her to my chest, a heavy weight lifting off of me.

Lily loved me. Maybe not as much as I loved her but it didn't matter. She was in love with me and it was enough. It was more than I could have ever imagined happening to me.

When she pulled back and tried to kiss me, I shook my head, hating myself for putting that look of hurt on her face but quickly making sure that I explained why I didn't want to kiss her again.

I had been so close to marking her, my wolf dangerously close to the surface minutes ago and that was such a terrible thing to do when I was still mated to Mauve. I was ashamed of myself for acting like an animal and allowing my d**k to control me at that moment. "Did I say or do something wrong?" She asked, her voice sending a thrill down my spine and I shook my head immediately.

"Quite the contrary. You just made me the happiest man in Shadow Cove, but I can't kiss you right now. I'm scared of doing something that I'll regret and I would kill myself before causing you harm."

Leading her to the bed, I sat down, patting my lap for her to sit and when she smiled and sat immediately, my heart swelled.

So this was what loving someone and being loved right back felt like.

"I don't know if you've heard the rumours."

Her beautiful face twisted into an adorable scowl as she tilted her head to the side to peer at me in confusion, wavy black hair, falling over her face, down her cheeks and shoulders. "Rumours?" I nodded, threading her hair through my fingers. "That I have no claim as Alpha of my pack."

She shook her head.

"They're right. My mother, my biological mother, was a mistress. My father's lover. I was a mistake that should have never happened and my mother didn't ever let me forget it. One day, she left me to die and the Hawthorne household took me in.
Ren's POV I could almost laugh.

This had to be a dream, right? A cruel, twisted dream. I'd wake up any minute now, back to my miserable life with Mauve, back to my worst fears that Lily didn't give two shits about me.

"Most people don't talk about it anymore but growing up, I could feel the hatred that members of the Hawthorne clan had for me even though Ariel, my adopted mother, loved me like her own. I was proof of the Alpha's infidelity and I heard how people talked about my mother behind my back. It was not like I could even defend her. She deserved every foul name in the world but it hurt me... I can't lie and say that sometimes I wished I had not been born-" "Oh Ren," Lily whispered and I cupped her face.

"If I had not stopped myself, I would have marked you, Lily. Do you understand that? No one would care that it's you I want, they'd judge you for it. I'm still officially mated to Mauve, so putting you in a spot like that is not my intention. I would die before I allow anyone to treat you like a mistress. You deserve more than hateful looks, wicked words and the shame that comes from all of that. I want to do this right with you and to do that, I need to reject Mauve first. The last thing I want is for you to be considered a homewrecker. That was why even though I was gutted when you left, I understood where you were coming from."

Lily deserved the world and I was not going to rest until I give her that, consequences be damned.

Her eyes widened in understanding and she nodded. "I'm sorry for rejecting you. I felt like I was taking advantage of your kindness and trying to make you leave a perfectly good relationship because you both looked good together."

I could not help the scoff that escaped my mouth. If Lily thought that way, then of course a large population of Shadow cove believed that Mauve and I were perfect for each other. The only thing I was certain that could come of whatever Mauve and I had were genetically good looking children and that required me to even want to touch her, which I had zero wish to do anymore.

"Mauve and I are only perfect on paper. At first I thought it could work even though I was not in love with her but it was always meant to perish. I can't continue to be with someone who tries to use the truth behind my birth to blackmail me when she doesn't get what she wants.

"The only reason she is with me is because of my name and status, Lily. She's drunk on the power that comes with being mated to a royal and I'm just a means to an end to her. I was going to wait for her to reject me but she's not going to. She never will, not when she sees leaving me as going back to a miserable life. She tried to kill herself when I tried to break up with her. That's how bad it is."

Lily's eyes widened in shock and she shook her head.

"If she's going to try to kill herself," she said hesitantly, putting a hand on my shoulder, "then maybe we shouldn't be doing this?"

I frowned and shook my head. I had let her go once, because I thought she didn't love me. Now that I was sure that she did, I was not going to lose her again.

"I'm not going to let you back out of this. We deserve to be happy and I need you to stay with me for this to work. Please, don't leave again."

I didn't care how vulnerable I was being now but I needed Lily to see that I was ruined without her.

When she nodded slowly, I fought my hardest to keep my hands from her, but I just couldn't.

Grabbing her and lifting her up, I adjusted her so that she was straddling me, her a*s on my crotch, the forgotten hardness sparking to life and searing hot warmth washed over my entire body.

I grabbed the back of her neck and kissed her hard, our kisses, impatient and needy, arms around our bodies like we couldn't get enough of each other.

To Aira's credit, he wasn't lurking under the surface, desperate to mark her and finally claim her as ours. That speech was as much for him as it was for Lily. But he was still a beast and I wondered just how much he'd take before he loses it completely. Lily sat down harder on my crotch and I let out a hiss as desire shot up my spine. "Jesus, Lily."

f**k it.

I gripped her hips as she started rocking back and forth, urging her to move where it felt good.

"Yeah, that's the way. Keep going."

She let out a strangled moan, goosebumps on her skin as she rocked her hips on mine, our kisses becoming more desperate, more passionate.

I allowed her when she pushed back against my chest, forcing me to lie back on the bed and I watched her with unabashed awe as she practically dry humped me, using me for her own pleasure and satisfaction.

She looked so hot, so beautiful, her cheeks flushed and hot, her blood red lips slightly parted, eyes clouded with desire, her head thrown back, long dark hair, sticking to her face as she grinded dirtily on me while I held on to her hips.

I watched her as she took and took, mesmerized by her. I'd give her anything she wanted. Anything she asked of me.

"Ren," she called out my name, her voice trembling, her hands grabbing fistfuls of my shirt.

I sat back up, pressing my lips to her ear. "I'm here, baby. That's right. Use me, I'm yours."

She suddenly shuddered, letting out a muffled cry and collapsing against me, boneless and exhausted.

I stroked her hair, tucked thick strands behind her ear.

She buried her face in my shoulder and let out an embarrassed groan.

I laughed, rubbing her back as she climbed down from her high.

"I can't believe what I just did," she cried, tucking her face into the crook of my neck.

I laughed softly. "It's nothing to be embarrassed about. I loved watching you."

She groaned, shaking her head and I just smiled into her hair.

My scent was all over her, all over her sheets. And her scent was all over me. It was the closest I could get to marking her. The closest I could get to letting everyone know that she was mine and I was hers. It's more mercy than I thought I deserved.

"We need to go," I whispered into her hair after a few minutes. "You can't stay here."

She leaned back to look at me and nodded.

The urge to kiss her again was hard but I settled for a quick peck and helped her to her feet.

"I've texted Bia. I'll be staying at her place for the night."

"I'll drive you to her place." I answered, returning her smile and helping her pack a bag.

My face hardened as I took in the mess again and I quickly hid my expression. Lily didn't need to see any of that anger. I would fix the issue.

As we headed downstairs, her cat in her arms while I helped her with the bag, it was on the tip of my tongue to ask her to just move in with me instead but I stopped myself, reminding myself that it was probably too fast.

Mauve's words about how desperate, needy and clingy I was thanks to being abandoned filled my ears and my words died quickly in my throat, not wanting to scare Lily away.

I didn't realize that I had stopped walking until a hand wrapped around mine and when I looked down, Lily was smiling up at me.

"Are you okay?"

All my fears melted away and I gave her an even bigger smile, tugging her to my side. "Never felt better."